The days are flying by and I get more attached to these wonderful girls each moment that I am with them. I feel so connected to their enthusiasm and the ever continuous drive to be "more". This a.m. one of the girls came to our room with a "problem". She is feeling bullied by the other girls that she rooms with. She is feeling very lonely and excluded from the group and didn't know what to do. We listened with great empathy to how she saw herself being treated. Today was her roommates birthday and everyone was invited to a party except for her.
I was immediately drawn to the principle I learned in a Course of Miracles which says that "in my defenselessness lies my safety". Along with this I pulled from Miguel Ruiz who in the Four Agreements says(Agreement#2) "Take Nothing Personally". Now the hard part was explaining this all to this wounded person who felt that the world was against her. I tried to relate it to being a leader and knowing that everyone will not always agree with you and how important it was to look at this situation as a life lesson.....a lesson in not engaging in others trying to "make you feel smaller" and staying in a "place of love". She listened carefully and then we wanted her to think about rising above this person's abuse and give her a gift for her birthday. I had collected jewelry from all my wonderful girlfriends and "sisters" and had her select a piece as a birthday present for her roommate. She did this and later in the day reported "feeling so much better" and also knowing that the only one who could change her perception was herself. It is these jewels of opportunity that I have each day that make me feel as though I am planting seeds for the future and hopefully making the world a better place to be-this starting with one person at a time.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
More Moments in China...
More moments in China.....Hi everyone. Hope you are enjoying reading my blog as much as I am living it. My time here still amazes me. I am in my second week of teaching and it only gets better and better. This week the girls are working on cardboard masks that Susan brought with her. What the girls were to do is complete the mask as a picture of themselves five years in the future. How would they see themselves in five years. The enthusiasm for the project was great and each mask showed creativity along with being well thought out. The girls are getting a lot of opportunity to stand up in front of large groups and learn to speak. They work hard on learning English and are doing very well. Tonight I taught a class on sexuality. I emphasized with them the sacredness of their body and the choices they make. My main message was that information is power. Opening up a dialogue was slow at first and it did progress as the class moved forward. The girls face a great deal of conflict with what their parents believe and growing up in a more progressive modern world.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Cleopatra Day
I am always at a loss about how much gratitude I am reminded of in respect to this journey to China. I, we as americans have so much and need to stay in a space of gratitude and appreciation for it all. Yesterday I went into the city of Zhong Zhou for a day "on the town". The city is very developed with a lot of buildings, lights and people all busy with their lives. We went with Kim who is the Director of the World Academy for the Future of Women. She is from the USA and has been at the university since August of this year. She first needed to stop at the Metro which would be the equivalent of our Costco. Then off to lunch at a wonderful restaurant that had sensational food some of which I had no idea of what I was eating. The funniest part of the day was going to the bathroom and making it all work in a squatting position. I hope I won't offend anyone reading this for I all took it in with humor and the joy of this international experience.
After bending down my glasses fell on to the floor (that was not exactly the most sanitary) and I just let out a howl of laughter at the whole picture. So I got my glasses cleaned off and went on with my day but I felt that it was important to SHARE!!!!! After that we were off to the spa for a massage that was two hours in length. All three of us shared the same room so there were other women to again SHARE this experience. First they give you some silk pajamas so that they don't directly touch your skin except for your feet and head. After the back and neck, we were invited off the table to put our feet in hot water that looked like it had some herbs in the tub. Our feet and legs were washed and soaked and back to the table for the front part of our body. First, they took a sink out from under the table and we had our hair shampooed and our heads massaged.
While that was going on our feet were being massaged with oil and I was in heaven.....I felt like Cleopatra and called the day a total "Cleopatra Day". I got up from the table feeling like I had an out-of-body experience. Today, Sunday, is time for laundry and a planning and review day for the week to come. My lecture this week will be on human sexuality and I need to make some revisions on my format based on observations and feed-back I am getting from the girls. This morning I had one of the girls visit me because of concerns she was having about information she had gotten from her doctor she visited in her village. She was scared and worried that as a result of the findings that she would never be able to have children. I don't think from what she told me that this is the case and I tried to frame what had happened in a more positive light. We spent almost two hours with each other also talking about her parents expectations, having a boyfriend, pressure at school and what it meant in her society to be a "strong women". I encouraged her to stay in her heartspace and remember how powerful our thoughts are in creating our reality. I certainly was in my heartspace as I listened and shared the difficulties of being a woman in the world of today.
After bending down my glasses fell on to the floor (that was not exactly the most sanitary) and I just let out a howl of laughter at the whole picture. So I got my glasses cleaned off and went on with my day but I felt that it was important to SHARE!!!!! After that we were off to the spa for a massage that was two hours in length. All three of us shared the same room so there were other women to again SHARE this experience. First they give you some silk pajamas so that they don't directly touch your skin except for your feet and head. After the back and neck, we were invited off the table to put our feet in hot water that looked like it had some herbs in the tub. Our feet and legs were washed and soaked and back to the table for the front part of our body. First, they took a sink out from under the table and we had our hair shampooed and our heads massaged.
While that was going on our feet were being massaged with oil and I was in heaven.....I felt like Cleopatra and called the day a total "Cleopatra Day". I got up from the table feeling like I had an out-of-body experience. Today, Sunday, is time for laundry and a planning and review day for the week to come. My lecture this week will be on human sexuality and I need to make some revisions on my format based on observations and feed-back I am getting from the girls. This morning I had one of the girls visit me because of concerns she was having about information she had gotten from her doctor she visited in her village. She was scared and worried that as a result of the findings that she would never be able to have children. I don't think from what she told me that this is the case and I tried to frame what had happened in a more positive light. We spent almost two hours with each other also talking about her parents expectations, having a boyfriend, pressure at school and what it meant in her society to be a "strong women". I encouraged her to stay in her heartspace and remember how powerful our thoughts are in creating our reality. I certainly was in my heartspace as I listened and shared the difficulties of being a woman in the world of today.
Friday, March 5, 2010
My First Week
The first week of teaching has flown by and what a week it was.....I gave my first class on the female anatomy and it turned out to be more than I expected. The girls was so interested in learning more about their bodies and so willing to ask questions. Great emphasis was placed on the importance of respecting their bodies and being the sole decision maker on what intimacy to allow for themselves. We all giggled alot especially when I called their breasts "the girls". One girl ask me about which bra was good to wear and I spoke about a sports bra because it had no underwires. When they didn't understand what that was saying I simply lifted my shirt to show them. Well, that caused complete hysteria and I even got some applause! I guess they understood what I was talking about after that!!!!! I ended the lecture with Amy Carol Webb's song "I Come From Women" and had the girls dancing in the aisles of the classroom. It was such fun and hopefully they walked away understanding that as women we are all alike with the same parts, desires and needs.
The creative labs we did during the week focused on the words kindness, optimistic, brave, confident and persistent. These words were selected from an assignment where they had to think about a women in their life who had a leadership quality that they admired and use one word to describe them. We discussed the reason why they made these choices.For many girls it was their grandmother or mother that made a difference to them. The stories were numerous and many were touching to our hearts. One girl spoke of her mother and the struggle she had with an abusive father. Her mother left her father and went to live in a one room apt. She said her mother worked "all day" and at age ten she had to care for her brothers and sisters. Despite all this adversity what she saw and learned from her mother with strength and optimism that her mother had for"she never gave up" and "kept moving forward". Another student spoke about "not being liked" because she was a girl. "My parents didn't want me" her loving grandmother raise her and "always told me I was a good person and that I was loved". These girls are amazing to be with and what teachers they are to me. I am in awe of there determination and gentleness that each girl has. i am definitely in love.
The creative labs we did during the week focused on the words kindness, optimistic, brave, confident and persistent. These words were selected from an assignment where they had to think about a women in their life who had a leadership quality that they admired and use one word to describe them. We discussed the reason why they made these choices.For many girls it was their grandmother or mother that made a difference to them. The stories were numerous and many were touching to our hearts. One girl spoke of her mother and the struggle she had with an abusive father. Her mother left her father and went to live in a one room apt. She said her mother worked "all day" and at age ten she had to care for her brothers and sisters. Despite all this adversity what she saw and learned from her mother with strength and optimism that her mother had for"she never gave up" and "kept moving forward". Another student spoke about "not being liked" because she was a girl. "My parents didn't want me" her loving grandmother raise her and "always told me I was a good person and that I was loved". These girls are amazing to be with and what teachers they are to me. I am in awe of there determination and gentleness that each girl has. i am definitely in love.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
A blog post from my teaching partner
Girls Becoming Women by Susan Brooks
There is a precious quality, a fragile vulnerability that gently flows from my students here at Sias International University...a quality that, I confess, I rarely see in our American teenagers. Their freshness, their eagerness to learn, their serving and giving natures and generous spirit awaken a protective feeling in me...my wanting to shield them from the dangers and violations that statistics verify as reality: domestic violence, suicide (China is #1 for women IN THE WORLD), sexual abuse, and on and on. These are young girls that ooze innocence and trust...young girls that come from farms nearby, families that have pooled their every dollar/yuan to send their daughters to school...parents that tell their daughters what to study and what to become as they grow up.
Yet, here I am to guide them, to expose them to perspective, choice, and possibility.These girls were chosen to be in The World Academy for the Future of Women, and they made the choice to be in this program...quite a commitment to their already extensive schedules. Our forums (interactive labs, lectures, coaching sessions) are quite different than what they've known before. The content focuses on leadership, starting with their own world of introspection and exploration: who am I? what are my values and priorities? where will I be in 5 years? how can I serve this world/my world? what is my passion? what are my choices and consequences for these choices? These are not 'fill in the blank' questions for anyone, but for my girls, they receive these questions so seriously and genuiniely as they translate perhaps their first feelings and opinions on these questions, not only into their Chinese words, but into English! I watch them process...I watch them grapple with language and concept...I watch them transform right before my eyes.
They are proud and strong. Yin and yang shine through them. There is a power to their determination, to their persistence in doing good...yet, their confidence is fragile and so new. They respect each other...and me, so completely. This makes me humble and grateful to stand before them, and by their side...leaving many of my fingerprints on their back, holding them, pushing them gently forward as our women leaders for tomorrow.
As young girls, I watch them walk, arm in arm throughout the campus. They talk at once, they laugh and giggle, completely unaware of how beautiful they are. I try to remember when I felt that free, so un-self-conscious...I realize that now these students of mine are my teachers, how I can learn from their celebration of simply being alive...simply BEING.
I want to stop time...freeze frame my days and moments here...memorizing their faces, their serious eyes and glowing smiles...hoping that just a fraction of their essence can spill over to me...girls becoming women...and me remembering to be a girl. Yes.
Life in China continues to be a blast!
Life in China continues to be a blast! My only frustration is the technology part of this experience. My lecture powerpoint was put on my Apple computer and they only have PC's at the school. I was told that they did have Mac's but they don't. Interesting the reason is because they are too expensive to purchase so I feel as though I brought a Mercedes to a place that only has Ford's. Lessons, lessons........I am dancing around the techno part!
I have started my lectures on Female Health and they are being well received. The girls have an incredible sweetness, innocence and curiosity about them that is so refreshing. I want to take them all home with me.
The program is so exceptional for the girls have a whole schedule of classes along with the Academy work and are still actively involved in being present for our lectures and creative labs. Interesting, we start each session with a meditation and centering, and they love participating in the experience. They do something really good here in encouraging the students to become entrepreneurs. There are several shops on campus that are called Box Stores.
Students can rent a small space like cubby-size to set up their merchandise in. One of the senior students in the program wants to be a business woman and has a set up of jewelry and perfume. She pays to rent the space and says she is making a small profit and covering her rental expenses. There must be atleast 20-30 boxes at the store all holding merchandise from jewelry to cosmetics to stuffed animals. There is alot to be said for the way the Chinese culture handles the respect for education.
On a personal note, the weather is staying really cold and damp so that layering is a must! I am enjoying the food, trying to get some exercise and taking my vitamins that are life-savers! Wish you all were here with me!
I have started my lectures on Female Health and they are being well received. The girls have an incredible sweetness, innocence and curiosity about them that is so refreshing. I want to take them all home with me.
The program is so exceptional for the girls have a whole schedule of classes along with the Academy work and are still actively involved in being present for our lectures and creative labs. Interesting, we start each session with a meditation and centering, and they love participating in the experience. They do something really good here in encouraging the students to become entrepreneurs. There are several shops on campus that are called Box Stores.
Students can rent a small space like cubby-size to set up their merchandise in. One of the senior students in the program wants to be a business woman and has a set up of jewelry and perfume. She pays to rent the space and says she is making a small profit and covering her rental expenses. There must be atleast 20-30 boxes at the store all holding merchandise from jewelry to cosmetics to stuffed animals. There is alot to be said for the way the Chinese culture handles the respect for education.
On a personal note, the weather is staying really cold and damp so that layering is a must! I am enjoying the food, trying to get some exercise and taking my vitamins that are life-savers! Wish you all were here with me!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Sipping Jasmine Tea on Day Two
Hello everyone on blog central. It's Tuesday morning and I am up bright and early sipping on a cup of Jasmine tea that is delicious. Yesterday classes officially started . Susan and I did a creative lab on characteristics of a leader. We asked the girls to think about one characteristic of a women in their life that influenced them in a positive way and had leadership qualities. What came up was persistence, optimism, bravery and kindness. They broke into groups and further elaborated on the meaning of these words and how it would influence them as leaders. The girls are wonderful and so eager to please. It was really interesting yesterday morning as I was sitting in front of the computer I heard a buzz of people outside my dorm window. When I looked outside there seemed to be hundreds of students all bunched together on their way to class. The numbers were overwhelming. Within minutes it all quieted down as everyone had settled into their classes.
Today another creative lab and lecture as we get to know the girls a little better. They all choose an american name and I'm not sure how they make that decision. There are names such as Apple,Clover,Anna, Carmen, Bonnie, Grace, etc. We are trying hard to learn their names and hopefully will get a better track on how to do this. The weather remains chilly and grey but it in no way dampens my spirit about being here. Still pinching myself when I wake up each morning not really believing that I am here.
Today another creative lab and lecture as we get to know the girls a little better. They all choose an american name and I'm not sure how they make that decision. There are names such as Apple,Clover,Anna, Carmen, Bonnie, Grace, etc. We are trying hard to learn their names and hopefully will get a better track on how to do this. The weather remains chilly and grey but it in no way dampens my spirit about being here. Still pinching myself when I wake up each morning not really believing that I am here.
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