Getting Close to Saying Good-bye...

As our stay at SIAS is getting close to ending the stories still continue.  To catch you up, last Wednesday was our last Open-Session in which all the students on campus are welcome to attend.  It was entitled "Private Victory" and was to recap all the private victories that the girls in the Academy have experienced.  The two young women who were doing the introductions spoke with great sincerity and shared their private victories.  Crystal spoke about feeling "fat" and learned that honoring her body and sending it messages that were positive made a difference about her health and attitude.  Julia shared her private struggle with her mother and how opening communication to talk about their differences was something new to her and the relationship.  Each of these women, taking a step in bravery to look differently at how they could manage their lives.  Susan and I sat there in amazement and pride for their stories were shared to an audience of almost 700
 students.  On Thursday we closed with a final lecture and again stories of how these incredible young women have grown.  We shared laughter and tears and moments that are never to be forgotten.  During the day, Susan and I wander about campus seeing now familiar faces that greet us with a sweet hello so that this certainly feels like home.  On Friday, we held our coaching sessions and sacred circles.  This is again a most special time for sharing and looking within.  This week it was about saying good-bye and giving the girls their evaluations to complete.  Susan and I each bought something to leave with them as gifts..  Susan brought bracelets that had the word "spirit" on them which the girls loved.  In the last of the coaching sessions, Enya, asked if she could gift us with a song that she wanted to sing.  There she was, this gentle and quiet nightingale standing in the middle of the circle singing.  Oh my!!!!!! We all joined her in chorus and applauded at the fun of it all.  I had brought for the women jewelry that all my friends had given me to take along and give away.  I wrapped each piece and had a grab bag that delighted each and everyone.  The glee and giggling reached a high pitch as the girls put their hand into a bag to pull out a treasure. I let them know that this was from not only myself but from "other" women leaders who shared their journey and were excited about their bravery and being in the Academy.  Saturday was spent getting a foot massage and walking hand in hand along the streets outside the campus.  It is really sweet to go arm in arm or hold hands which all the women in China do with their girlfriends.  We met another faculty member for dinner and when she saw us walking hand in hand commented "Oh my you girls really have adjusted to being in China".  What do they say "when in Rome do as the Romans do".  What was even funnier is that we know it is getting time to go home because our american toilet paper that we brought is now all gone.  So I guess that means time to return.... We leave for Beijing this coming Thursday early in the a.m.  It is a 2 hour flight from ZhenZhou and we spend four days seeing the sights.  We have saved all our monies for shopping there and are looking forward to finding the bargains.  We have gotten good at bargaining and walking away shaking our heads when we think the price is too high.  The mark up to foreigners is about 300% so there is a lot of space to make a deal.  We'll also climb the Great Wall and maybe try out bravery by eating a scorpion or two that is a supposed delicacy here in China.  I am really not sure that this will happen but I will consider it!!!!!!

Looking forward to seeing you all soon.

The Final Week

The week is entitled "Private Victory" and so it is!  We are wrapping up our module teachings this week and thinking about our trip back with a four day stop over in Beijing.  The adventure continues daily as does our heart's presence with the young women in the Academy.  I gave my lecture last night on Domestic Violence and Sexual Harassment. The women were quite receptive to the information and spoke about their experience with friends who were in abusive relationships. Only one brave soul spoke about her abusive father and her mother's bravery in taking the children and leaving. She spoke about her mother's determination and struggle to help the family stay together.  In China "saving face" is important no matter what the cost.   The resources in China are quite limited for women who are abused but hopefully this information will allow the  women to identify the abuse cycle in their own lives and allow themselves to be proactive about their choices. They may also use this need to work on creating resources in the future for domestic violence. On the subject of bravery, these women never fail to leave me in a heart space that explodes with wonderment about all they have been through and still persist in their belief that there is HOPE for themselves, their family and our world.  
After class another adventure of visiting one of the faculty members at SIAS who has his PhD in Chinese history.  We spent almost an hour looking at some of the artifacts he has collected-some of which were over 2-3,000 years old.  His knowledge was amazing and so informative.  One of the things about China is the people's pride in their history and the deep rooted meaning it holds for them.

The treasures keep coming...

When I think about my day to day activities they pale in comparison to all the stories about the girls and that is really what the day is about.  Yesterday we were taken on a three hour bus ride to Luoyang which is famous the the peony flower that is the national flower of China.  This city has many flowers and gardens to visit but unfortunately nothing was quite yet in bloom.

The real joy of the day were going with three of the Academy girls who acted as guides.  What they did throughout the day was watch over us like were made of china.  They guided us, giggled with us and made sure our every need was met.  They are so gracious and extend themselves in such loving ways that my heart stayed filled with the enchantment of it all.

I want to share with some of the stories of the many girls we are serving.  I strongly feel that I am making a difference in so many ways that my heart is truly filled with the light of giving ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!

Let me share some of the stories that I have experienced.......

Emily, who is a freshman class has blossomed into a true leader and spokesperson.  She has become a true example of how when the seeds of leadership are planted they grow.  She was not feeling confident about speaking in front of a group and now is always standing up to speak her truth with gusto and confidence.
Vivian, who is also a freshman blew Susan and I away when during a lecture on Being Brave, Susan invited the girls to list things they would do right at that moment if "they were brave".  Vivian got up and said that she would sing a song in English if she were brave.  Of course we immediately jumped on the bandwagon and invited her to sing.  Well......she sounded like an angel and we all applauded and cheered for her bravely.
Moses, who translated for me this past Wed. when I spoke about AIDS.  Moses was born with a cleft palate that has been repaired and his dream is to go to the USA to become a translator.  He was very concerned about the topic we were to be working with and had a lot of fear about doing this.  He didn't share this me but someone he knew who encouraged him to do it reminding him of the importance of helping others with this dreaded disease.  There he was.  He stepped up to the plate and stood along side of me like a hero.  He was the hero of the day in my eyes and I know it will serve him well for other challenges he will be facing.
Nancy, who is a freshman and came into our coaching session looking sad and anxious.  She had been very quiet these few weeks we were and we didn't know her well.  When I asked what seemed to troubling her she began to talk about all the responsibility she held on her shoulders.  Her parents are very poor and it is her grandfather who supports her financially at school.  He is now ill and may not be able to help Nancy follow her dream of doing more with her life.  She felt that there was no one to speak to and that she needed to keep all this inside.  We gave her the opportunity to see that she was not alone and that all her Academy sisters were there for her.  They all invited her to speak to them and share and that they cared about her.  We all put her in the middle of our circle and sent her love and support.  She left the session smiling and feeling better and today found out that her grandfather is getting better.

And so the stories go on and the seeds continue to get planted just as they do in my precious garden at home. I am so filled with gratitude and can't express with enough joy HOW GOOD GIVING FEELS!!!! I invite you all to come along and join the train wagon of giving.  IT IS THE BEST. No matter how small the giving is, it does make a difference to everything that is living on our planet.

Miss you all and will come home soon.

Xi'an and the Terra Cotta Warriors

Hello again....it has been a while since I have last written and I have a lot to say and share. To begin, this last week-end I left the SIAS campus to go with Susan and Kim(she is Director of the Academy program) to Xi'an which is where the terra cotta soldiers were discovered.  The trip started early on Saturday morning at the train station to board the high-speed train for a two hour journey to Xi'an.  The train was launched this past February and travels at a speed of approximately 170mph.  What fun it was to whiz by the countryside at a record speed and feel like you were sitting in the comfort of your living room.  It was so smooth and comfortable and I loved it!! We were met at the station by our tour guide Peter who watched over our stay at Xi'an. Peter is from this city and is so filled with pride about its history.  He is self taught in the English language and a very wise soul even though he is probably only in his early 30's.  He shared the city history and his Chinese culture in a beautiful and deeply moving way.  The pride he feels about Chinese history is inspiring and I have seen this feeling of strong nationality throughout my visit in China.  He spoke about America and how it has wings like a bird that moves quickly and fast. China, on the other hand, he visualizes as a strong tree with deep roots implanted firmly into the ground.  These roots he explained grounded the people to its history and its people. We found the terra cotta soldiers to be facinating and very much set up for tourists. There is a lot of building around the soldiers to support the high number of tourists that visit this site each day.  After our visit to the soldiers, which took around three hours to see along with a museum which is at the site, we went off to dinner.  By this time we were pretty tired and feeling rather filled with giggles and the need to sleep.  Anyway we were taken to a dumpling restaurant that served these dough shaped critters with everything but the kitchen sink!  One of the dumplings we were told had pickles inside and we passed on those.  Their was a dance performance as well as we were getting more silly by the minute.  After not liking dinner all that much I turned to the girls and said "what I wouldn't do for a piece of chocolate" and Kim responded by taking a package of M&M's out of her purse.  We laughed so hard at the situation and how here we were in China chowing down on a good old American product. Boy was it good!!!! Forget the dumplings!  The show was good but boy were we tired.

The next day Sunday, it rained and all we wanted to do was stay out of the rain and be warm and dry.  The rain let up on the afternoon in time to go to the Muslim market and spend all of our money.  There were a multitude of booths selling food.  The smells and colors all made for a wonderful afternoon.  We shopped till we dropped and only left because we ran out of the money we had brought with us. I love market places and delight in the people and the bargaining that goes on to make a sale happen.  I actually have gotten so much better at walking away from a purchase as though I couldn't care less.  Whatever the price you get quoted you have to think at least dividing the price in half or a third.  Out of money and back to the train for another ride on the speed train.

Our third week has begun and we continue to watch the girls grow each day.  We have learned most of their names and are starting to know them well as they continue to share themselves with us.  Our leadership classes continue and this week we are going over more sexual information including safe sex and intimacy issues.  They seem to be getting more comfortable with the information and hopefully will understand the importance of setting up safe boundaries. Today, Wednesday, I did a lecture to about 700 students on the topic of HIV-AIDS.  I was concerned about how delicate this might be for the students as discussion of this is kept quite closeted in their culture.  Ahead I went and it went really well.  I was surprised when I got questions on topics relating to HIV that were pretty personal in nature.  After that lecture it was off to speak to the nursing students about being a nurse.  These girls were very anxious to know about nursing in America and had many questions mostly of which were personal in nature.  The message and concern that gets repeated relates to managing stress and the number of responsibilities that they have to manage being in school.  Because of the numbers of population in China, competition is great for both finding a graduate school to be accepted in to or finding a job.  The evening class was on Fear and Susan did a great job of getting the students to process how fear could be better managed in their lives.  It has been a long day but I couldn't let another day go by without speaking with you.  So I will say good-night and write again tomorrow for there still is a lot to say.

Haikus from the Girls

Coming close to finishing my second week of teaching in China and still loving the fullness of it all.  Last night in lecture the girls used the masks that they created in the beginning of the week to write a haiku.  We didn't know what to expect since we were asking a Chinese girl to write a poem using a Japanese style in English.  It was a poem that was to be written by them to their masks.  The results were powerful and I wanted to include some of them for you to see...

Live with passion
Seek for the real me always
Success belongs meCindy

How time flies always
Just hold the present moment
You will have successCathy

Go and see the world
No matter what you will meet
Find the truth of lifeGrace

Be a strong woman
They don't tell you who you are
You show them powerMelissa

Pretty special don't you think?  I have watched these girls blossom like the lotus plant and what a spectacular sight. Leaving will be difficult but I am trying to stay in the moment.  Tomorrows coaching session will be having the girls do some role playing on the conflict of the girls needs and wants vs. the wants of their parents regarding their future and boy-girl relationships.

This week-end I am going to Xi'an to see the terra-cotta soldiers and riding on the bullet train.  It should be fabulous and I will write about the experience when I return.  Wish I could take you ALL along with me!

Rising Above

The days are flying by and I get more attached to these wonderful girls each moment that I am with them.   I feel so connected to their enthusiasm and the ever continuous drive to be "more".  This a.m. one of the girls came to our room with a "problem".  She is feeling bullied by the other girls that she rooms with. She is feeling very lonely and excluded from the group and didn't know what to do. We listened with great empathy to how she saw herself being treated.  Today was her roommates birthday and everyone was invited to a party except for her.

I was immediately drawn to the principle I learned in a Course of Miracles which says that "in my defenselessness lies my safety".  Along with this I pulled from Miguel Ruiz who in the Four Agreements says(Agreement#2) "Take Nothing Personally".  Now the hard part was explaining this all to this wounded person who felt that the world was against her.  I tried to relate it to being a leader and knowing that everyone will not always agree with you and how important it was to look at this situation as a life lesson.....a lesson in not engaging in others trying to "make you feel smaller" and staying in a "place of love".  She listened carefully and then we wanted her to think about rising above this person's abuse and give her a gift for her birthday. I had collected jewelry from all my wonderful girlfriends and "sisters" and had her select a piece as a birthday present for her roommate.  She did this and later in the day reported "feeling so much better" and also knowing that the only one who could change her perception was herself.  It is these jewels of opportunity that I have each day that make me feel as though I am planting seeds for the future and hopefully making the world a better place to be-this starting with one person at a time.

More Moments in China...

More moments in China.....Hi everyone.  Hope you are enjoying reading my blog as much as I am living it.  My time here still amazes me. I am in my second week of teaching and it only gets better and better.  This week the girls are working on cardboard masks that Susan brought with her.  What the girls were to do is complete the mask as a picture of themselves five years in the future.  How would they see themselves in five years.  The enthusiasm for the project was great and each mask showed creativity along with being well thought out. The girls are getting a lot of opportunity to stand up in front of large groups and learn to speak.  They work hard on learning English and are doing very well. Tonight I taught a class on sexuality.  I emphasized with them the sacredness of their body and the choices they make.  My main message was that information is power.  Opening up a dialogue was slow at first and it did progress as the class moved forward. The girls face a great deal of conflict with what their parents believe and growing up in a more progressive modern world.

Cleopatra Day

I am always at a loss about how much gratitude I am reminded of in respect to this journey to China.  I, we as americans have so much and need to stay in a space of gratitude and appreciation for it all.  Yesterday I went into the city of Zhong Zhou for a day "on the town".  The city is very developed with a lot of buildings, lights and people all busy with their lives.  We went with Kim who is the Director of the World Academy for the Future of Women.  She is from the USA and has been at the university since August of this year.  She first needed to stop at the Metro which would be the equivalent of our Costco.  Then off to lunch at a wonderful restaurant that had sensational food some of which I had no idea of what I was eating.  The funniest part of the day was going to the bathroom and making it all work in a squatting position.  I hope I won't offend anyone reading this for I all took it in with humor and the joy of this international experience.

After bending down my glasses fell on to the floor (that was not exactly the most sanitary) and I just let out a howl of laughter at the whole picture.  So I got my glasses cleaned off and went on with my day but I felt that it was important to SHARE!!!!! After that we were off to the spa for a massage that was two hours in length. All three of us shared the same room so there were other women to again SHARE this experience.  First they give you some silk pajamas so that they don't directly touch your skin except for your feet and head.  After the back and neck, we were invited off the table to put our feet in hot water that looked like it had some herbs in the tub.  Our feet and legs were washed and soaked and back to the table for the front part of our body.  First, they took a sink out from under the table and we had our hair shampooed and our heads massaged.

While that was going on our feet were being massaged with oil and I was in heaven.....I felt like Cleopatra and called the day a total "Cleopatra Day".  I got up from the table feeling like I had an out-of-body experience.  Today, Sunday, is time for laundry and a planning and review day for the week to come.  My lecture this week will be on human sexuality and I need to make some revisions on my format based on observations and feed-back I am getting from the girls.  This morning I had one of the girls visit me because of concerns she was having about information she had gotten from her doctor she visited in her village.  She was scared and worried that as a result of the findings that she would never be able to have children.  I don't think from what she told me that this is the case and I tried to frame what had happened in a more positive light.  We spent almost two hours with each other also talking about her parents expectations, having a boyfriend, pressure at school and what it meant in her society to be a "strong women".  I encouraged her to stay in her heartspace and remember how powerful our thoughts are in creating our reality.  I certainly was in my heartspace as I listened and shared the difficulties of being a woman in the world of today.

My First Week

The first week of teaching has flown by and what a week it was.....I gave my first class on the female anatomy and it turned out to be more than I expected.  The girls was so interested in learning more about their bodies and so willing to ask questions.  Great emphasis was placed on the importance of respecting their bodies and being the sole decision maker on what intimacy to allow for themselves.  We all giggled alot especially when I called their breasts "the girls".  One girl ask me about which bra was good to wear and I spoke about a sports bra because it had no underwires.  When they didn't understand what that was saying I simply lifted my shirt to show them.  Well, that caused complete hysteria and I even got some applause! I guess they understood what I was talking about after that!!!!!  I ended the lecture with Amy Carol Webb's song "I Come From Women" and had the girls dancing in the aisles of the classroom.  It was such fun and hopefully they walked away understanding that as women we are all alike with the same parts, desires and needs.

The creative labs we did during the week focused on the words kindness, optimistic, brave, confident and persistent. These words were selected from an assignment where they had to think about a women in their life who had a leadership quality that they admired and use one word to describe them. We discussed the reason why they made these choices.For many girls it was their grandmother or mother that made a difference to them. The stories were numerous and many were touching to our hearts.  One girl spoke of her mother and the struggle she had with an abusive father. Her mother left her father and went to live in a one room apt. She said her mother worked "all day" and at age ten she had to care for her brothers and sisters.  Despite all this adversity what she saw and learned from her mother with strength and optimism that her mother had for"she never gave up" and "kept moving forward".  Another student spoke about "not being liked" because she was a girl.  "My parents didn't want me"  her loving grandmother raise her and "always told me I was a good person and that I was loved".  These girls are amazing to be with and what teachers they are to me.  I am in awe of there determination and gentleness that each girl has. i am definitely in love.

A blog post from my teaching partner

Girls Becoming Women by Susan Brooks

 

There is a precious quality, a fragile vulnerability that gently flows from my students here at Sias International University...a quality that, I confess, I rarely see in our American teenagers. Their freshness, their eagerness to learn, their serving and giving natures and generous spirit awaken a protective feeling in me...my wanting to shield them from the dangers and violations that statistics verify as reality: domestic violence, suicide (China is #1 for women IN THE WORLD), sexual abuse, and on and on. These are young girls that ooze innocence and trust...young girls that come from farms nearby, families that have pooled their every dollar/yuan to send their daughters to school...parents that tell their daughters what to study and what to become as they grow up.

 

Yet, here I am to guide them, to expose them to perspective, choice, and possibility.These girls were chosen to be in The World Academy for the Future of Women, and they made the choice to be in this program...quite a commitment to their already extensive schedules. Our forums (interactive labs, lectures, coaching sessions) are quite different than what they've known before. The content focuses on leadership, starting with their own world of introspection and exploration: who am I? what are my values and priorities? where will I be in 5 years? how can I serve this world/my world? what is my passion? what are my choices and consequences for these choices? These are not 'fill in the blank' questions for anyone, but for my girls, they receive these questions so seriously and genuiniely as they translate perhaps their first feelings and opinions on these questions, not only into their Chinese words, but into English! I watch them process...I watch them grapple with language and concept...I watch them transform right before my eyes.

 

They are proud and strong. Yin and yang shine through them. There is a power to their determination, to their persistence in doing good...yet, their confidence is fragile and so new. They respect each other...and me, so completely. This makes me humble and grateful to stand before them, and by their side...leaving many of my fingerprints on their back, holding them, pushing them gently forward as our women leaders for tomorrow.

 

As young girls, I watch them walk, arm in arm throughout the campus. They talk at once, they laugh and giggle, completely unaware of how beautiful they are. I try to remember  when I felt that free, so un-self-conscious...I realize that now these students of mine are my teachers, how I can learn from their celebration of simply being alive...simply BEING.

 

I want to stop time...freeze frame my days and moments here...memorizing their faces, their serious eyes and glowing smiles...hoping that just a fraction of their essence can spill over to me...girls becoming women...and me remembering to be a girl. Yes.

Life in China continues to be a blast!

Life in China continues to be a blast! My only frustration is the technology part of this experience.  My lecture powerpoint was put on my Apple computer and they only have PC's at the school.  I was told that they did have Mac's but they don't.  Interesting the reason is because they are too expensive to purchase so I feel as though I brought a Mercedes to a place that only has Ford's.  Lessons, lessons........I am dancing around the techno part!

I have started my lectures on Female Health and they are being well received.  The girls have an incredible sweetness, innocence and curiosity about them that is so refreshing.  I want to take them all home with me.
The program is so exceptional for the girls have a whole schedule of classes along with the Academy work and are still actively involved in being present for our lectures and creative labs.  Interesting, we start each session with a meditation and centering, and they love participating in the experience.  They do something really good here in encouraging the students to become entrepreneurs. There are several shops on campus that are called Box Stores.

Students can rent a small space like cubby-size to set up their merchandise in.  One of the senior students in the program wants to be a business woman and has a set up of jewelry and perfume.  She pays to rent the space and says she is making a small profit and covering her rental expenses.  There must be atleast 20-30 boxes at the store all holding merchandise from jewelry to cosmetics to stuffed animals.  There is alot to be said for the way the Chinese culture handles the respect for education.

On a personal note, the weather is staying really cold and damp so that layering is a must!  I am enjoying the food, trying to get some exercise and taking my vitamins that are life-savers!  Wish you all were here with me!

Sipping Jasmine Tea on Day Two

Hello everyone on blog central.  It's Tuesday morning and I am up bright and early sipping on a cup of Jasmine tea that is delicious.  Yesterday classes officially started .  Susan and I did a creative lab on characteristics of a leader.  We asked the girls to think about one characteristic of a women in their life that influenced them in a positive way and had leadership qualities.  What came up was persistence, optimism, bravery and kindness.  They broke into groups and further elaborated on the meaning of these words and how it would influence them as leaders. The girls are wonderful and so eager to please.  It was really interesting yesterday morning as I was sitting in front of the computer I heard a buzz of people outside my dorm window.  When I looked outside there seemed to be hundreds of students all bunched together on their way to class.  The numbers were overwhelming.  Within minutes it all quieted down as everyone had settled into their classes.

Today another creative lab and lecture as we get to know the girls a little better.  They all choose an american name and I'm not sure how they make that decision.  There are names such as Apple,Clover,Anna, Carmen, Bonnie, Grace, etc. We are trying hard to learn their names and hopefully will get a better track on how to do this. The weather remains chilly and grey but it in no way dampens my spirit about being here.  Still pinching myself when I wake up each morning not really believing that I am here.